Today someone asked me if "Young Scientist" was a reputable peer review journal. I told them the truth, which was that I have no idea - I did science the same way I do everything else, selfishly and completely half-assed. I only read journals with articles that spoke to my scientific issues, and if there were other interesting ones in the volume, then I would read those too.

After that conversation, I started thinking that it would be pretty funny if there was a magazine that was directed at addressing my personal issues. This is what I figure the TOC of this magazine would look like:

This month in KATE...

Cover Story - having an open and approachable face means the wrong people talk to you when you are out. Find out how to avoid this on page 31 - headphones won't work forever.

Recipie - You can't say you can make three meals when each of those meals is stir fry. Lets take baby steps with a simple omelette on page 10.

Home - If your cat only makes bird noises, this is your fault. Find out why - page 7.

Career - When presenting research to your bosses, its not ok to claim state that "an organism exists in its filamentous form when it is chill and relaxed. You can induce sporulation by stressing it out." For a list of terms that won't make you sound like a prepubescent boy, turn to page 25.

Beauty - Now that you don't sound like a 15 year old male, it may be time to think about stopping dressing like one as well. Page 60.

Relationships - with you, we'll just save this for an issue all its own. For now, here is a list of things not to say to your friends and family when they tell you they are engaged. Page 92.