I was rummaging around in the "my documents" folder on my dying laptop this evening when I found this gem. Last year I had grandiose plans for Christmas, namely making everyone homemade pesto with Miranda. We got as far as getting drunk and looking for recipes, and I wrote this for the little tags we were going to attach to the jars:

Merry Christmas I made you some motherfucking pesto

When you eat it you’ll spit out “this shit is the best, yo”

The pine nuts are fresh like my mad freestyle skills

This pesto will cheapen your pasta-making bills

Bitches be cooking with whack store-bought shit

But this homemade pesto is a guaranteed fucking hit

Other emcees get all up in my face

But this homemade pesto puts those bitches in place

I know how to bring the old school yuletide cheer

Have a Merry Christmas and fucking Happy New Year

This was pretty exciting because we couldn't remember where we had saved it or even if it was typed as opposed to just written down.

In other news, tonight I got home late to find that my shirt had dyed portions of my torso a true, deep royal purple. Half an hour in the shower taught me that the dye has real staying power.