Lately I feel like I have fallen witness to a lot of people fucking with their vulnerable dependents: dressing their pets and babies up in ridiculous costumes and just generally using these little guys as objects for their amusement.

I was the victim of this kind of behavior on Thursday night, when I visited my dentist. I swear half of the things that they do to you at the dentist are 100% just to give the dentists and hygenists something to laugh about later.

First, they take all your stuff and make you lie down in the ridiculous chair. They put a BIB on you for no apparent reason, and make you wear oversized squash safety goggles. They they stuff your cheeks full of those cotton log things, and dry out your mouth with the little vacuum thing, which is left hanging from your lower jaw - THEN they start asking you questions so they can see you try to talk after all they have done, and they won't settle for nods as answers:

hygenist: Well, Katie, how have you been?
K:

hygenist: And what have you been up to lately?
K:

At this point, the hygenist stares at you with a passive-aggressive fixed, politely smiling stare and you realize that you HAVE to participate, so you do your best to push the vacuum-thing to the corner of your mouth, totally forgetting about the cotton logs that are preventing you from closing your lips together, and your horridly cottony mouth:

K: ell, i graated from ool in the rin....

I love going to the dentist.