Today was supposed to be a banner day. Last night I got all of my stuff ready for work so that this morning I could go for a for real bike ride, use the gym shower, and waltz into work like I had just left the beauty parlor - or at least not looking like I had dressed myself ON Free Spirit on my way to work.
I hit the first snag in my carefully laid plan when I got out of the shower and realized that I had forgotten to bring my comb. Fine. So I'll roll into work looking like I just floated out of a beauty parlor in the 80's, then fought a rabid street cat on the way to the office, but whatever. I'll just act like I meant for it to look this way - people at work will likely believe that anyways. Close enough.
At this point in my story it is important for you to know that the bottom half of my chosen outfit consisted of a pair of pants that I left in the changeroom at work, so I wore my workout pants to the office, only to discover that the changeroom was locked and nobody knew how to open it.
So now I have crazy birds nest hair with huge puffy bangs, a black dressy top with big puffy shoulders, and lulu lemon pants on (at least they were black). No work pants in sight. It's getting harder and harder to pretend to myself that if I just act like this was what I was aiming for, people will go with it. I do the only thing I can, which is go put on my dress shoes and try to pretend that people will just think I am wearing mindblowingly ass-hugging dress pants and NOW I WANT TO KILL MYSELF. Have you ever seen someone wearing yoga pants and heels? It makes you want to bludgeon babies with other babies. Being the person wearing the pants and heels is worse.
Nathan and Christine broke into the changeroom around 3 pm and I got my pants out, but by then it was pretty much too late.
Then a pink highlighter exploded on my hand and I rubbed it on my face before I noticed, but that seemed pretty minor. I almost forgot to write it down.