Forget you, Craigslist Missed Connections.
For almost two years, you have been my go-to when I need a quick shot of romance, but you've changed.
Now you are replete with bad poetry and stupid forwards with empty threats (7 years of bad relationship luck if I don't comply? What next, I'll be cursed with a man's voice and a complete inability to use the proper plural form of it?).
There is no mystery, there is no intrigue, there is...nothing interesting posted on you anymore.