ethical dilema-please help
Date: 2009-08-25, 10:59PM EDT
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i met this guy on criaglist so I am appealing to all of you to help me out, Im a 40 something woman who posted an ad on C.L looking for a hookup, this guy responded,he is like 20 something, we met, had coffee, that was it, great chat, no chemistry, his girlfriend status was never discussed, I texted him a few days later, ' the trouble text', asking him to have dinner, never heard back from him till tonight,
Hi XXXXX,
I know it's been a while since we last spoke, but a big issue has come to light and I was hoping you could help me out.
First off, when we met for coffee that evening a few weeks ago, I was on a two-week hiatus with my girlfriend of almost 2 years. Because I was feeling lonely, I went on CraigsList looking to meet someone whom I might casually hook up with, and then you and I started talking and we met up. I did enjoy chatting with you over coffee, but afterward I felt that it would not be a good idea to get involved with anyone since I still wanted to work things out with my girlfriend.
Since then, I've gotten back together with her and we met up in XXXXXXX last week (she lives in XXXXXXXX). At one point, I lent her my cell phone while I went to the washroom, and she discovered the text messages from you in my inbox. I did not want to tell her the truth of who you were, so I told her a different version of how we met. She thinks that I may have cheated on her during that hiatus, and although I was tempted, I never went through with it. You and I simply had a nice coffee date one evening. She doesn't believe me, and she feels the only way to put her mind at ease is to speak with you directly. I know that I am asking a tremendous favor from you, but I was hoping you would be willing to talk to her and tell her that I simply met up with you one evening seeking legal advice. I have outlined the background of the matter below, along with the story I told her about who you are.
So my girlfriend's name is XXXXXXX and a year and a half ago I accidentally broke her nose. We were hanging out in my room of the school dormitory in XXXXXX; at some point she pinched me from my behind, I reflexively spun around, and struck her in the nose with my shoulder. She ended up getting surgery because her cartilage had been shattered, which her parents paid for. She still needs another surgery next summer since the surgeon was unable to repair everything. Anyways, earlier this summer, her parents requested that I pay for this surgery and the next one, putting me in a very awkward and tense situation; not only do I not have that kind of money as a student, but I am dating their daughter. Needless to say, I got so stressed out about that situation that I tried to break up with XXXXX over this. Instead, we decided on a two week hiatus where communication would be minimal, and she would try to resolve this issue with her family. This leads me to the story I told her about who you were.
I told XXXXXX that someone at my Mother's church gave me the number to a paralegal that might be able to give me some legal advice regarding how her parents are requesting funds from me to pay for the surgeries. I said that upon meeting for coffee, we discussed the issue, but then we also had some decent conversation where I learned a lot about you. You sent me a text message the next day thanking me for a wonderful evening and inviting me to go for dinner sometime, but I decided to just leave it at that.
So if you have been reading this far, you can see that the issue I am facing with my girlfriend is a grave one, maybe enough to end things. I really do not want this to happen, which is why I am imploring you to help me to resolve this issue. Please let me know what you think and if you can help me. I greatly appreciate it, and I am looking forward to your reply.
so fellow criaglisters, what shall i do?
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
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